Bad Day at Hallmark

...a case of writer's block...

Have you ever wondered what happens when greeting card writers have a bad day? Take a closer look at these women. They look like a lot of writers do when things just aren't going well. These ditties are absolutely terrible -- but I hope they bring a smile to your busy day!

1.
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

2.
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.

3.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

4.
I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ...
I've changed my mind.

5.
I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.

6.
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go ...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.

7.
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!

8.
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.

9.
We have been friends for a very long time ...
let's say we stop?

These "groaners" are pretty tasteless, but they were the best of the lot. If you feel like writing your own not-so-nice greeting card verse, be my guest in the comment section below. Go ahead, you know you want to -- just do it! Give it a whirl, but keep it clean. Get it off your chest, and you'll feel a lot better and in the process tickle a few funnybones -- and, yes, probably cause more than a few eyes to roll...

Thanks for visiting and sharpening those claws, er, I mean pencils and writing your own vicious ditty.

Have fun!

For more information and cool cards to send to your friends: Hallmark Cards, American Greetings, 123Greetings, e-cards, Black Dog postcards