No Gnome Nanette, or The Impatient Gnome

garden gnome

Friends sent this picture of their garden gnome engulfed by impatiens. He appears to be extremely patient, however, as the blooms grow ever closer and threaten to overwhelm him. This gnome, though he is disguised as an elderly gnome, is in fact only about a year old. But in that short time, he's faced many garden indignities. My friend writes that her little fellow, a gift from her Aunt last year, "...lives outside the kitchen door. I've seen him covered with snow, chicken manure and compost, and now impatiens. I may have to orchestrate some fall leaves this year. A real four season imp."

There is more to these garden deities than meets the eye. Ambrose Bierce chronicled a brief but incomplete history in The Devil's Dictionary:

GNOME, n. In North-European mythology, a dwarfish imp inhabiting the interior parts of the earth and having special custody of mineral treasures. Bjorsen, who died in 1765, says gnomes were common enough in the southern parts of Sweden in his boyhood, and he frequently saw them scampering on the hills in the evening twilight. Ludwig Binkerhoof saw three as recently as 1792, in the Black Forest, and Sneddeker avers that in 1803 they drove a party of miners out of a Silesian mine. Basing our computations upon data supplied by these statements, we find that the gnomes were probably extinct as early as 1764.

Who knew?

Celebrity gnomes seem to enjoy travel quite a bit and are often seen in exotic locals. They are basically high-profile imps, but others, like this shy fellow, appear to be homebodies. Perhaps the urge to travel or take over mining operations comes as the gnome ages somewhat. Obviously this calls for a closer examination and a government research grant. Possibly some stimulus money has already been allocated for the necessary gnomish studies to answer these pressing questions. Gnome lore investigative studies are poised to be the next "biggest thing" in Earth sciences. We shall see as scientists begin submitting their proposals and conducting their research.

Many thanks to this gnome's family for sharing him with us, at this young stage in his development. We look for great things from this little fellow!